Have you ever tried to negotiate with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has now discovered that he has a will - a seriously strong will at that. Typical of children his age, he is far more interested in getting what he wants than with complying with his mother or father's wishes.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our communication with others. We are only interested in meeting our own needs and wants rather than accommodating the needs and wants of those around us.

It is only as we mature that we learn the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into society in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to consider the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 fundamental negotiation approaches and how you can use them to underpin the achievement of your negotiation targets.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation that is primarily assertive and focused on your own needs, wants and goals.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is primarily concerned only with the needs, wants and targets of your counterparts whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training courses often support this negotiation strategy as the most appropriate strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the most famous of all negotiation strategies. This is a mode of negotiation where you meet your counterpart halfway. You get some of your needs, wants and targets met and you do the same for your counterpart.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a way of negotiation where you seek to satisfy all of the needs, desires and objectives of your counterparts and they do the same for you.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a style of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best way to achieve your goals.

The important factors which will determine which of the above strategies should be in your negotiations is to respond to the following 3 questions:

a.What is the Importance of an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is important, then you will not be able to be only assertive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterpart. If you do not meet the needs of your counterparts, then it is unlikely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many alternatives are available to you?

If you have a host of alternatives available, you can afford to be more competitive. Conversely, if you have only one option, then you will be required to be more accommodating.

c.How much time do you have available?

If you have a lot of time available, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time you have, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these 3 questions before you start negotiating so that you can pick the approach best suited to the situation at hand rather than just pursuing a negotiation strategy solely based on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to change your strategy as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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